I am not going to sugar coat it. This has been the hardest week in the 38 years that I have been alive on this earth. I know that I will have to face harder times in my life, but this one has pierced my soul.
I have been told by several people that have been through their child leaving for college about how hard it is. Nothing can describe it or prepare you for it until you actually go through it. For months before he left I was mentally preparing. I knew it was going to be hard. I was not prepared for watching my son in the review mirror watching us drive away with tears in his eyes. I was also not prepared for was his four younger siblings crying on the way home for about three hours. It never dawned on me that they would be upset. I guess because Daulton spent most of the summer with his girlfriend. So he wasn't around much. I couldn't cry on the way home because I needed to be strong for them. I need to let them know that this is part of life and a milestone to adulthood and one day they will be doing the same. I also was not prepared for my husband getting upset. He had picked at me for months and when it came down to it, once we got home, I saw my rock crack. That was hard.
This is just one of life's moments. A moment to stand in awe of God and his peace. A moment to praise and thank him for His blessings. Daulton is getting his first year of college paid for. Everything fell into place with this. Daulton is getting to play the game that he loves and live on his own and become a responsible young man. I still shed tears, but they are not of sorrow. My tears are mixed with some regret. I should of loved more, laughed more and hugged more. While the other tears are of thankfulness. That the Lord has his hands in all of this. This is a good thing. "Every good and perfect gift is from the Lord" James 1:17
Daulton has had a rough week, too. He has been adjusting to five roommates, from all walks of life. Temptations and personalities that he is not use to. I feel like I threw my son out among the wolves.
He has also realized that college baseball is not a joke. They have been doing some major conditioning. Nothing like high school or travel ball. The first morning he was out there he threw up his breakfast. They are also doing crossfit and he is sore from head to toe. I will get to see him tomorrow, we have a mandatory parents meeting. Then it will probably be about three weeks before I see him again.
I went to the football field Wednesday to pick up Brady from practice. I was sitting there waiting. There was not a drop of rain around I look up and see this:
In the middle of my sad week, God sent me an I love you!
Like I said before, this has not been easy. My son has had it as rough as we have. I have peace through this because I know that this is good for us. It is times like this that we grow. God is doing some amazing things in our lives. Not only Daulton's, but Devyn's as well (that is another post for another day :)
We serve a mighty God, and what blessing he has on those who love HIM!!
"Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you." Joshua 3:5