I feel like the fish in The Cat in the Hat. " I do not like it, not one little bit".
Less than two weeks we will be moving Daulton into an apartment in Huntsville, Alabama. He starts school on August 12th. He will be about 4 hours away. I am trying to wrap my mind around it. I can't believe it is almost here. I do not like this, not at all. I want to keep my little family all in my nest. But, there is nothing I can do about it. God does not keep us in our comfort zones.
It is time. It is time for me to let go just a little. He is ready to stretch those wings and soar. This is one of the hardest parts of motherhood. When you are pregnant they don't tell you about the day that they leave home. This is the worst feeling, but it is part of being a mom, which I will always be.
Part of why it is so hard, I feel like there just wasn't enough time. I didn't hug him enough. Tell him I love him enough. Play and be silly enough. Did I give him enough? I hope that this is also part of motherhood.
I know that he is struggling a little, too. He wants to continue to play baseball, but he also has a precious girlfriend that he is crazy about. He knows that she has to finish her schooling and he has to focus on his schooling. It doesn't mean that they can't be together. He is willing to work hard so that they can be together. If God has ordained it, there is nothing the two of them can do about it. If their relationship is blessed by God, everything will work out according to His plan.
When I get a little emotional, I just have to remember God's plan. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD" Isaiah 55:8. All of this is part of His greater plan. He doesn't allow us to see the whole picture. We could not handle it if we saw it all at once. Plus he allows us to grow. If we saw it all at once, there would be no growth. I also have to TRUST Him! When I get distracted and take my eyes off of Him, I start to slip. In that still small voice he says to me. "don't worry momma, I got this". My God is bigger than all of my worries.
It is also time for me to put on my "big girl" panties and dry my eyes. The Lord is going to do amazing things among us! I know He has great things planned for my kids. The Lord is not going to allow us to stay in our comfort zones for long. Life is not about us being comfortable, but about us fulfilling our purpose in Christ. If it means my son going to college in Alabama, and even moving out there, then it is part of God's plan. I know my kids will not stay here for long. They are meant to grow up and move on. My love for them will NEVER change, and the Lord's love for me will never change. That is my hope and what keeps me going. The Lord trusted six awesome kids to me. They are His, not mine. He let me love them a raise them. One by one they will start lives of their own. I am blessed to be part of that.
" And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28