Ohana

When I was a child I only had a little brother. We were almost five years apart. So we really aren't that close. I wish we were. We live completley different lives. He knows almost nothing about me and I am about the same with him. It is really sad. Looking at my own children, I pray that they don't end up the way my brother and I have. I want my kids to be close, even in their adult hood and after Mike and I are gone.

I can remember as a child I looked up to my cousins to. I was the oldest and I didn't have an older sibling. I just wanted to be a part of my cousin's lives. They were three sisters that were close, how I wanted to be in that circle of sisterhood. The youngest of the three was only two years older than me, that was as close to a sister that I got. When my parents moved when I was in the sixth grade I wanted to move to the school were my cousin went because I wanted to be close to her. Well, needless to say we hung out some, but we never in the six years that I lived nearby got closer than maybe friends. I don't think any of them realized how much I loved and looked up to them. I yearned to be like them. I think instead I was just the pesty little cousin that wanted to tag along. If they only knew. Looking back it is also really sad. I can remember being left at school when I was in high school because my cousin was suppose to give me a ride home after a makeup test. She had cheerleading practice and I stayed and watched after my test. I remember seeing her leave the gym and I thought she was going to the bathroom. I waited and waited and waited. She was gone. I was stuck with no way to get home. She did that several times. It finally got to the point to where I never asked her for another ride. We are adults now, we hardly talk. They think I am some religous nut with a bunch of kids. If they only knew. They also know nothing about me.

I guess the point that I am getting at is that I want my kids to be close. I want them to be each other's support group. To laugh and cry with. To pick at and to love on. I want them to know that family is important, even if it is cousins. Blood is thicker than water and roots run deep. Family matters. OHANA.

I want them to have great memories, with each other and with Mike and I. I want them to have more good memories than bad. I want them to have memories that make them laugh so hard their bellies hurt and some that make them cry that they have a lump in their throat. You know the kind when you think of a grandparent that you were so fond of and you miss them so. I want them to always remember each other and to learn from each other. To stick up for each other and not gang up on each other (well outside of the home anyway). I want them to have a bond that nothing can break, even when they are old.

In the words of Lilo and Stich, Ohana, No one gets left behind.

-pg

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